Monday, May 18, 2009

Dangit, I love those lesbians

This week my nephew Milan asked his mother a question. "Are lesbians like terrorists?"
His mother, Cheryl, responded immediately, "Yes, son, that's exactly what they are."

I got a good laugh out of this. Especially as I sat at the Mesa Arts center surrounded by them awaiting the Indigo Girls. There were a couple of ladies (I assume they were ladies, we would need a DNA test to confirm) making out right by us. This is when Ellen coined my new favorite verb. She said that they were "lesbianing" We saw a lot of lesbianing that night. Ellen and I didn't do any lesbianing even though people probably assumed we were a couple.
Ellen bought the tickets and invited me because she knows that there is no greater Indigo Girls fan than Staci Kramer. I have been to probably over a dozen of their live shows and own every album and know every word on every album. John heard about our lesbian date and wanted to come with us. John was forbidden from attending. Not that it wouldn't have been nice to go and show my heterosexual pride, but I am a veteran of the Girls and I know what to expect and have a much greater capacity to laugh off hard core leftist propaganda than John does. I knew that he would just get mad when they got on their soapbox about how bad humans are for spoiling the earth, or how bad white people are for spoiling Native people's lands or ask us to sign petitions in the lobby for gun control. John would end up in a corner sucking his thumb and rocking back and forth. Especially since this concert fell upon the same weekend as the national NRA convention that was held here in Phoenix. John has been looking forward to that for months and then came down with the flu and was unable to go. An Indigo Girls concert would be a poor substitute for him.

Anyway, back to the concert. IT WAS AMAZING. Amazing. How do those lesbians do it? They have put into song every emotion I have ever felt. There is an Indigo Girls song for EVERY emotion. If you don't agree, you haven't listened to enough Indigo Girls. They are seriously two of the most talented singer songwriters in all of musical history. If you don't believe me then go download Power of Two and listen to it three times. They are amazing. They played really deep cuts and of course all of the stuff from their new album. It was fabulous.

The highlight of the show was that there was NO political rhetoric. none. Just great music. We weren't even asked to sign any petitions. In fact the only group they had in the lobby was a food bank collecting canned food for needy families. I didn't have any canned food on me but I gave them a few bucks because I thought it was so refreshing to see such a good cause promoted. John would have been able to attend without his head exploding after all.

I did almost get into a lesbian fight (not really, but you can never be too careful with those crazy man-ladies) I was pulling out of the parking lot and saw this bumper and was compelled to take a picture. I had to turn the car around and come by for a second pass to get the photo. By then the car had filled up with muscular women who did not understand why I was photographing their car. I snapped the pic and then slammed on the gas. Not that there was an easy escape in a congested parking lot, but it was worth it for this picture of the quintessential Lesbian bumper.


Amanda said...

I think you are wrong. That doesn't look like a lesbian's car to me.

jk "The Society for Creative Anachronism" around the license plate is my favorite.

Scrap Happy said...

CLASSIC photo. love it.

Lisa said...

"Psychoamazon War Bitch from Hell, with an attitude" is the best redundant bumper sticker ever!

I am very jealous. Those lesbians really know how to put on a concert and it has been too long since I've been to one. I should have just tried to buy a ticket from a scalper. *sigh*

Staci Kramer said...

I was just looking more closely at the bumper stickers and I have to say that I love "DO IT IN CHAIN MAILE" You might need to look at the full size photo to really read all of the wisdom that this car has to offer.

Chelsey Howard said...

I blieve you that the music is amazing, but I don't think I have the tollerance to sit there with all these women making out around me. I would be furious and probably have the same reaction as your husband:) But I'm glad you guys had a good time. I should look up the music.

Scrap Happy said...

I want you to know I am DYING because I didn't watch Idol last night. I don't know if I can make it until tonight...

Cassi said...

Hi there Staci! It's Cassi from Mommy Diaries (also Kiera's sister)! We noticed you hadn't posted your intro yet and just wanted to make sure you got the email and welcome info from us. If not, send us an email at and let us know. Maybe it went to your junk box!?
Thanks! We are excited to get to know you!!

Cheryl said...

Maybe you should have taken little Milan to the concert, although I'm not sure that would have changed his mind about them being terrorists!
I will concur that they are quite good singers in spite of their terrorist cells. I had them blasting all over the spa while we painted the other day. Truth be told, it was the only cd we had that wasn't scratched!

Stacia said...

That is a classic photo! I went to an outdoor Indigo Girls concert in Mesa when we lived there. It was very good! I don't remember any issues being pushed down on us that night either. We did sit behind a lesbian couple and their kids and I felt a bit out of place sitting there with my husband! :)

I bought a Indigo Girls hat during the concert and my dad said it was wrong to support them and what they stood for. Kelly and I laugh because he is a major Doobie Brothers fan!

I do love their music too. Feels so good to sing along!!

Auntie Ellen said...

I think my new lesbianing outings name is going to be "Sparkil" in honor of this license plate. Henceforth at all I.G. concerts I will introduce myself to everyone as "Sparkil."

Tara said...

I LOVE the Indigo girls. I don't know every song as you, but I know enough to love them. I don't know if I could handle the lesbian makeout sessions though :) I especially love that car's bumper. Classic. That is SO something I would do. I was laughing picturing you trying to speed off and going a few feet and then being stuck in traffic. So funny.

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