Tuesday, March 22, 2011

confession

I try to be a perfect mom, but I have to admit one of my major failings. Pop music. When were driving in the car it is next to impossible to ensure that they don't hear inappropriate lyrics. There are some things that I'm good at staying vigilant about but I too am a sucker for a good beat. Once when Jack was three he announced to his sunbeam class that he was "bringing sexy back" around the same time I heard him absent-mindedly singing "If you like it then you should have put a ring on it. Uh oh uh oh uh oh…"When he could barely talk he would cry in the car and beg for "Wock" We knew that this meant he was requesting Def Leopard. Specifically, Pour Some Sugar on Me. There was nothing cuter than his little fat babyface singing earnestly, "Do you take sugar? ONE LUMP OR TWO? Pour some sugar on me…In the name of love" etc. etc. I have to say that as hilarious as those gems were, my all time favorite is still when he was getting down to Kanye West (Yes, I told you I'm a bad mom) and he sang the lyrics to "Stronger" and afterwards required an explanation of the words "Since Prince was on Appalonia, Since OJ had Isotoners" Not the most simple task to bring a preschooler up to speed on the history of the artist formerly known as Prince and his revolving door of muses AND The history of OJ Simpson before he became an aquitted murderer and was hawking leather gloves that may or may not have been used in said murder. I'm always guilty of over-explaining things to my kids and I could see them glaze over before I even got to the part about the white bronco. By the way, I give mad props to Kanye for such a hilariously obscure and bold rhyme as Appolonia and Isoton-ah. Genius.

Pink has some catchy tunes out on the radio these days but she has to add things like "Its just you and your hand tonight" or "I wanna get in trouble I wanna start a fight".

I should probably be a good Mormon mom and play the primary program CD that they pass out on Sunday but honestly, I think I would have a mutiny. They were raised by Dr. Dre and Aerosmith and Black Eyed Peas. I try to keep a parent ear alert but I know there have been slips. It was bad when I heard something from the backseat about "lovely lady lumps" Also I didn't quite know how to answer the inquiry as to why Katy Perry had indeed kissed a girl. The best I could come up with: "Maybe she's a little retarded. how sad."

So I have a new clean music policy that lets just say is evolving. I thought I was doing well by putting in my 80s music CDs but then I heard "Who do you want me to be to make you sleep with me? and realized I need to go back a few more decades or perhaps spend some time creating kid friendly playlists. Now I'm seeing the goldmine that is KidsBob although I would rather listen to liberal talk radio than those obnoxious kids slaughtering pop songs. Either way my ears will bleed and no one will be happy.

Speaking of the media that our kids are exposed to, I am ready to permanently remove Nickelodeon and Disney from our Lineup. Every single show has the same theme: Hooking up. I can't believe the pressure they put on kids to date and "make out" and "hook up" and also everyone is famous or magical. No normal people allowed. You have to be a wizard or a webshow star or a rich kid raised on a cruise ship, or an incognito popstar, or the teenaged CEO of a huge company. What ever happened to 8 is enough or Different strokes or Facts of Life? Damn, I sound old. Just let the kids be kids!


4 comments:

Scrap Happy said...

It's okay, I'm a crappy mom too! Come on, you have a soul sister in me. My girls know all the words to almost every Gaga song, Bruno Mars, Bon Jovi, Black Eyed Peas, Katy Perry.....

Sinéad & Guillaume said...

I had my moment of guilt when I heard Lucie, age 2 and a half at the time, singing along to the Kings of Lyon "This Sex is on Fire".... what else can you expect from Mom's who sing along to "No diggity"?

Mommy Needs Yarn said...

I love it - I'm guilty of letting the kids listen to pop music too. Our youngest's favorite song right now is Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas. He calls it the Boom Boom Song.
But the best was the other day when I caught my 16 year old listening to "Ice Ice Baby". Made this mommy proud. :)

Kara said...

Amen, sista! Its hard to find good clean songs! But when u do, just start a playlist... that's kinda what I have done... but we're def still perfecting that...

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