Yesterday Jack stayed home sick and I was down and out with my stupid mystery disease. This time it hit my feet bad and I couldn't walk. My health has made great progress this year. I don't look like a holocaust victim anymore but I still get occasional joint flare ups and the horrible disfiguring sores. Enough about that. It stresses me out and I can already feel my mom's heart racing sixty miles away as she reads this. The point is Jack and I got to lay around all day long doing nothing and just bonding. Kristen took Abe for a large chunk of the day so Jack and I just chilled. I know it stresses his little six year old soul when he sees his mommy hurting and sometimes I think its best to hide It from him as much as I can but sometimes I need to get real and tell him I'm hurting. We were laying in my bed and I showed him my sores and swollen crippled feet. He said "Mom, I don't want to see them anymore. It makes me too sad. Also it makes me confused."
Why is that buddy? is it because you can't predict when I will feel good and when I wont?"
"No, it just makes me pray to Heavenly Father and ask him why he had to create stupid germs and diseases. And why does he have to let my mommy hurt? Then I think about It and I realize that its the whole point of life. God sent us here to be tested and if things were always easy there would be no purpose to life. If things were always easy, we wouldn't even know they were easy."
Holy crap. I spend a lot of worry on wondering if these kids are getting the gospel of Christ. In that moment, I realized that I would go through every bit of suffering that I have to hear my son explain this concept to me in such an eloquent way. He gets it. The spirit was unbelievably strong. He went on to tell me this long comparison between life and video games and how its so frustrating to get killed over and over but every time you play you get a little bit farther and you find the places to get your life recharged and you figure out how to avoid the bad things and you get to the next level and eventually you beat the game and you wonder why you ever thought it was so hard. He told me that its just like life. We just have to keep trying and when we beat the game we will have eternal life and live with Heavenly Father and Jesus forever. It will all be worth it.
I cried and I pulled out the Book of Mormon and read 2 Nephi 2 to him and briefly explained the concept of opposition in all things. I love that that chapter is addressed to Lehi's "first-born in the wilderness of affliction" If father Lehi had had an X-box I'm sure that Jack's Allegory of the Video Game would have been included. I have always been totally anti-video game and if I didn't have to compromise with three males on it, one of whom is the breadwinner and secret video game buyer and holder of a bizarre opinion about the merits of video games as they relate to one's ability to survive a possible Town of Gilbert urban combat scenario, I would ban the machine from the household. (longest run-on sentence ever) But I must admit that as I listened to Jack's hard earned wisdom the statement that continually repeated in my head was "All things testify of Christ" There are lessons to be learned everywhere. Smart kid going for my Achille's Heel and combining the Gospel and Halo.
Once when I was in my early twenties I was asked to speak at Stake Conference. I didn't want any of my family coming to watch because I was afraid that it would make me nervous. Of course my parents showed up anyway. When I introduced them to my stake president I rolled my eyes and joked that they were conference crashers that were there uninvited. He looked at me and said "One day you will understand that payday doesn't always come on Friday."
After our talk I suggested that Jack give the Family Home Evening lesson and I got some great Flip video footage of his passionate little gaming testimony. One day I will learn how to actually post those videos. When I do, you will see a chicken laying an egg in my living room, Jack break dancing at the state fair when he thought no one was looking, Joselyn Orrell's birth, Abraham defeating three pantry locking devices within 30 seconds, a tortoise chasing a chihuahua and winning, incriminating video of Clark Gartner stealing the device and throwing it in the mud, John falling asleep while snuggling an assault rifle, and that famous drill sergeant guy, The Gunny (R. Lee Ermey) looking straight at the camera and saying "John Kramer? That's my best friend, ya Jackwagon. Hoorah, Semper-fi," Yes, the day I learn how to post video will be fabulous. For now I'm still searching for a reasonable way to right-click on a mac with one hand and I'm taking my paydays whenever and however they come.