I went in for the follow up with my endocrinologist today and we made a game plan and I got a little more info. basically, there are two reasons a person would have the kind of elevated prolactin I have. The most common is a small tumor on the pituitary gland. the less common reason would be a side effect of some specific drug that I have never heard of or had so that can be ruled out. Which brings us back to the brain tumor. It sounds scary, but it really isn't. Were talking about a few extra cells pushing on my pituitary gland just enough to make it crank out a little too much of this or that. Often they are too small to be seen on MRIs or CT scans and since we can pretty much assume it is there by process of elimination, the scans are really just for confirmation and to make sure that theres not something bigger than they suspect, but based on all of my blood work levels, its probably just a little teeny tiny benign thing that can be dissolved with medication. Also, the doctor started me on meds to counteract the excessive prolactin immediately so it may all work it self out. One sucky thing about the recent blood work is that my anemia is back. lame. I just spent months getting biweekly IV treatments of Iron and my blood count was back up and I was feeling fab. The Hematologist said that it was likely that once my body got back on top of things that I may never need treatments like that again, or possibly every year or two. I didn't expect my blood count to plummet this quickly. Don't worry, I'm all over it. Following up with the Hematologist and having a Endoscopy with the GI this week to be sure I'm not bleeding from ulcers and losing blood some crazy way like that. I suspect that it all just comes back to my body's stubborn refusal to absorb what it should through my gut. or that pesky brain tumor..who knows?

The whole brain tumor thing really is no big deal, but I feel compelled to milk it for all its worth, because really, who wouldn't? "Honey can you do the dishes? I have a brain tumor." I'm already planning on "sorry I need a sub to teach primary this week, its just that my brain tumor is really bumming me out." or how about "Foot long subs aren't five dollars until after four o'clock, and it is only three thirty? I'd be better able to deal with that disappointment if I hadn't just found out that I have a brain tumor today." or "kids, just go to bed a half hour early. Mommy has a headache and a brain tumor, so no fussing, k?" The options are limitless, really. In fact, I'm already mourning the day that they tell me my brain tumor is gone. It's already like my little pet that gets me out of volunteering in nursery and gives me an excuse to be absent from anything. Maybe I shouldn't reveal too much on the blog here, but get ready for some serious milking. I might even start doing things purposely odd, like wearing my bra on the outside of my clothes or speaking with a british accent, just to freak people out. I am willing to bet that there are some delicious relief society meals in it for me.

I already got a day of free childcare out of Cheryl today (as if she needs a tumor to serve someone) and I've got John offering all kinds of housework and foot-rubs. (incidentally, he does need a tumor to serve)

So, just like everything else in mortality, its all going to be okay, its just going to be a huge pain in the ass between now and then. They really should put that in the scriptures somewhere, because, really, doesn't it just sum up life.Here's D&C 122. pretty much my favorite scripture ever:

7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the ^apit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the ^bdeep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to ^chedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of ^dhell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee ^eexperience, and shall be for thy good.

8 The ^aSon of Man hath ^bdescended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

and then something in verse none that I somehow missed before: Thy ^ddays are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, ^efear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.

Really, what else do we need to know in times of trial? My days are known and my years shall not be numbered less.