Friday, April 13, 2012

I am pretty much an angry bird-ologist

My four year old and my eight year old spend most of their days trying to come up with questions that will stump me. Abe still thinks that I am the ultimate source of all knowledge but Jack is becoming more skeptical. Here is a sampling of questions I have answered today:

Sharks like to eat people, right Mom?
T-Rexes hate dinosaurs, right Mom?
Ninjas are so quiet, right Mom?
Lala loves to lick people in the face, right Mom?
Me and dad are both handsome, right Mom?
This show is boring, right mom?
Blue slushies are the best, right mom?
Skeletons are totally fake, right mom?
Angry Birds hate pigs, right mom?

How did Stephen Hawking get paralyzed?
What does DNA stand for?
Why do people get abortions?
Would a French dog understand English?
Who pays for the Olympics?
Why would the Irish want to kill each other?
Wouldn't an igloo be too cold to live in?
Are humans evolving?
What is Algebra?

Hey Jack, don't you have any questions about Angry Birds? Go ahead and ask me why Target is a far more pleasant place to shop but will never be able to compete with WalMart for global retail domination. Ask me why Obama wants war in Iran during an election year. I can accurately tell you how the gravitational pull of the moon creates oceanic tides. I know a lot of stuff. I am pretty good at making stuff up on the fly too.

Basically Abe is asking me stuff to confirm his hypothesis that we both know everything. Jack is trying to confirm his hypothesis that we both know very little. I am totally thrilled with both theories.

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