Sheriff's Eyebrows: an insight into Abe's mind

Abe's foray into the world of makeup as encouraged by Ella's never ending industrial strength cosmetics set has been photographically documented and those photos will most likely be shown at his wedding at some future date. We are hoping that will be to a woman in the temple after a mission and that he will be make-up free for the occasion. Yesterday he walked in to the house wearing huge brick red eyebrows. Really heavy and dark and high up on his forehead. I left my camera at my uncle's house this week otherwise I would have captured the moment. John is less amused by his son wearing makeup than I am and he scolded him a little bit when he saw him."Abraham, makeup is for girls. You are not a girl. You are a boy."

The effect of the makeup job was anything but feminine so I suspected that maybe he was going for a Ronald McDonald look rather than a transvestite look. He confirmed my suspicion with his offended response to John "This is not girl make-up! This is Sheriff's Eyebrows. I'm a man Sheriff with big high Sheriff Eyebrows!"

So that explains it. Everyone knows Sheriffs have giant exaggerated eyebrows, right? I don't know where he comes up with this stuff. He was just so sure of his eyebrow concept.

Yesterday to church I dressed him in a cute little suit with a vest and everything. While I was tucking in his little dress shirt and installing his tiny clip-on tie, he looked at himself in the mirror and said "Wow. I am so HANDSOME!" He was right. He was handsome. The only thing that could improve his look was a nice set of Sheriff's eyebrows.

Speaking of Abe's mind, He brought me the paper yesterday from the driveway. He had opened it and zoned in in the weekly CVS ad that is chock full of Easter Eggs and Candy and Peeps and plastic grass. There were tons of plush toys including a rabbit, a chicken wearing a rabbit disguise and a duck wearing a bathrobe and Bunny Slippers. One side of the page was colorful and alluring and the other side advertised regular pharmacy fare. Toothpaste, Pantyhose, Lotions and Perfumes and Huggies Diapers. Abe was all lathered up over the Easter stuff and pointing out what he wanted to buy. I agreed that all of that stuff was awesome and I would like to have it too. But ever the downer, I had to take the chance for a guilt trip. "I wish we had some money to spend on this stuff! I would pick this robed bunny and jelly beans! But unfortunately we don't have any money for this stuff because we have to spend our money on this." Of course, pointing to the Jumbo pack of Diapers on the opposite page.

"Nah, we don't need to buy those. Lets get this stuff!"

"Well, that would only work out if you could go poo poo on the potty every time and wear big boy underwear everywhere we go. Then we could spend all of our diaper money on whatever we want!"

Never one to overcommit himself, he thought about it really hard and sighed. "I'm just not ready yet." with the sincerest little sad face you ever saw. Lets just say we will find some room in the budget for both pages. The kid is good.