Take Cover! Babyham Style.

Since he was old enough to notice, Abraham has liked putting things on his head. Hats, blankets, toys, plates full of food....you get the point. He has always known that for some reason, putting things on your head #1 gets a laugh and #2 feels awesome. He is particularly entertained when something that is placed on his head stays on for a period of time.

I think this may have started when we began forcing him to wear a little helmet at 6 months of age. He was already standing and trying to walk and kept on bonking his head. He had so many bruises that I was beginning to worry that CPS would come through the door. Plus I'm not going to lie, he looked ridiculously cute in it. It had little animal ears for crying out loud! He liked being able to take a tumble with no risk of brain damage and he loved the attention everyone gave when they would see his little "special ed" helmet (as we lovingly called it.) Here's my proof: This is when he was 6 months old:
Since then He has turned 15 months old and has an affinity for helmets that I have never seen before in such a young kid. It might also have to do with the uniform loving gene that my husband seems to have in abundance and which has been passed to our children. If this kid finds a hat or a helmet (or a bowl of food for that matter) its gonna get worn.

Here are a few of my favorites from the past few weeks:

Sitting in the middle of the street with no pants or shoes on but feeling totally safe because of the thin plastic and foam around his skull. traffic? Bring it on.

This one is an authentic dough-boy helmet from World War I... I think??? Its part of John's military helmet collection and Ham has taken a particular liking to this one. Its relatively lightweight and doubles as a percussion instrument of some kind.
I love this one because he really didn't mind that the helmet blinded him completely. He just stumbled around, refusing to remove it, all in the name of looking cool. Its a british helmet from the colonization of Africa and I get the feeling that the officers might have worn this a bit differently than our Abe does. Sure they cound see, but were they nearly as cute?This helmet had been left at our house by a neighbor and it was so awkward and made him so top-heavy that he had to hold perfectly still because the momentum of the tiniest movement would throw him to the ground. Enjoy this one, Ham. Its as close to dirt-bike riding as you will ever come as long as I am alive.

This is his favorite helmet. It is super lightweight and fits him perfectly. Its Jack's bike helmet but if Babyham is around he insists on stealing it.
This is a perfect illustration of why Babyham gets 2-3 baths a day. He has no problem with accompanying his hairdo with melted cheese.
This car belongs to someone on our block. We really don't know who. It was on the sidewalk a few doors down and when he saw it and he headed straight over. All of a sudden he stopped in his tracks and I could tell he had had an idea. He turned around, walked home and got this helmet on before returning to the drive the little car. The aforementioned uniform gene must come with a driving safety gene. Who knew?
And of course the bowl on the head. Why is this endlessly funny? You'll have to cunsult a toddler.
He loves wearing his daddy's hat. If you look closely you can see a stream of drool glistening in the sunlight. A perfect sunny day in the park, a swingset, dad's cool hat...who wouldn't drool?This one is by far my all time favorite. He is a Clone Trooper. Actually more of a Clone Trooper bobble-head. We have a Darth Vader bobble head and it is the exact same proportions. I have been looking for the clone trooper version of the bobble head so I can do a side by side comparison. Except that I don't think the authentic Lucasfilms product has a diaper on. And I am certain that real Clone Troopers don't have such deliciously kissable rolls on their chunky thighs.

And Finally I am compelled to post a couple more Ham pictures that have nothing to do with the headwear theme but that are just a shameless showing of my adorable child. These are actually for my dad who I know has been going crazy without his Hambone. He went from seeing him everyday allday to seeing him once a week at most. These two have a special bond and I give my baby extra squeezes everyday to make up for missing grandma and grandpa Haws.


He and Jack are just so cute and they light up my world. I can't remember how lame and meaningless like was before I was a mother to these two special souls. It really is mind boggling if you get to thinking about it. The responsibility, the privilege, the risk of screwing it all up! Thank Goodness for the Perfect example set for us by Jesus Christ and for the knowledge wehave through His restored Church. I am so glad that I can repent of my mistakes and fulfill my potential as a mother. The highest and noblest calling on Earth.

While I'm on this blogging marathon, I might as well mention that tonight is my Jack Jack's first attempt to sleep through the night without a pull up. We have been counting down the days until we run out of them and the magical day has arrived. I have my doubts. He has never woken up dry but he has also never really had a lot a motivation when there had always been a diaper attached to his butt. He is so nervous about it. I secretly installed a plastic sheet cover under his bedding because as much as I know he can succeed at this, I am not a glutton for punishment. Especially the punishment that involves handling of bodily waste products. I dread having my child's room reeking of urine, but I think I dread more having a full grown child in school wearing .a diaper to bed. I gave him the pep talk of his life before bed and got him all excited for a mystery prize that awaits him if he appears in the moring with a dry bed. Motivation is in place, now we just have to see if he can force his little body to wake up and get out of bed for the big event. We'll see. There will be some serious disappointment from all involved parties if I end up changing sheets and lysoling plastic covers in the middle of the night. Oy Vey. Please let this work. I actually have a full stash of night time pull ups but enough is enough! You have to start somewhere!

Here are some pics I took recently of my grown up boy.

And for this one, PLEASE don't flag me as posting inappropriate content. Please don't think I'm insane for posting this picture but I absolutely can't look at it without bursting into a fit of laughter. Anyone who has spent time with little boys knows that I'm not the first one to witness this outfit. When I saw him like this and asked him to get dressed he informed me that he was an "Indian" and that the nuduty was not only for a reason but it was ,in fact, totally necessary.
Jack, you might want to find yourself a good loincloth and you might want to work on your tan. Just a suggestion. And by the way, this picture is guaranteed to make an appearance in your wedding video.
--- CENSORED---
(Photo Removed because there are crazy's in the world who are turned on by a little boy running around with nothing but a holster on instead of entertained, although I highly suspect that the paranoia of such individuals FAR outweighs the odds of actually running into one of those freaks on here. Nonetheless, the problem is solved and if you ever want to see it again you will have to attend Jack's wedding video showing or else come on over and I'll show you the cutest little penis that ever did run wild.)

Follow up to last night's diaper free night: It went perfectly. John got him up to pee when he got home at 2:30 and he made it dry till morning. This may seem mundane to some readers, but to me its like the biggest accomplishment of Jack's young life! No more pull ups? I'm free at last! Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!
Its amazing how humbling parenting is. years agao I would have turned my nose up at a parent who let their kid's wear a diaper well past age five. I am so over that. Everybody's got to do what they got to do. Now that we are settled back in our home, I let Jack know that when the current package of pull ups ran out, we were done done forever. This whole week has been a nervous countdown. I gave my best cheerleading and made all of my most tempting dollar store promises and put a plastic sheet on his matress. "I KNOW you can do this, big boy!" I said as I wrangled the plastic matress cover. his response was very pregmatic. "If you know I can do this why do you need the waterproof sheet cover?" A very good question. Well buddy, I don't think our house will flood and we don't live in a flood zone, but I still pay for flood insurance everymonth just in case something totally unexpected happens. It is just good planning, Jack Jack, not a commentary of my confidence in you. This is just one of those lessons in life to be prepared. He was both offended and relieved by the plastic matress cover. I honestly feel like getting a king size plastic sheet for our bed as it seems like we never sleep alone these days, and the bed seems magnatically attracted to un-lidded beverages, and diaper leaks. (and vomit amd blood and everything else you can think of absorbing into an expensinve foam bed).

As soon as Daddy wakes up today we are going to that Mecca of capitalism that is the dollar store and we are going to reward Jack for his big boy efforts! We might even get Bahama Bucks on the way home! sweet success!